The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I was a witness to our waiter being a target of bias and prejudices remarks and attitudes.  My husband is a Realtor during the summer months while school is out.  He and I took one of his clients out for lunch at Olive Garden.  As our waiter, a young Hispanic male, came over to take our order, the client all of a sudden became very rude to him as if he was superior.  The client asked the waiter if he could have a sweet tea, the waiter responded with they did not serve sweet tea, but that they had raspberry tea instead.   The client told the waiter that he would try it, but that it better be good.  I immediately told him that if he does not like it, I’m sure the waiter would be more than happy to bring him something different.   As the waiter was walking away, the client said “I wonder if he got his “Green Card.”  After that, each time the waiter left our table, the client made snide remarks about him having a green card.  The waiter remained professional the entire time.  I must say I was very impressed with the waiter’s ability to remain calm and not show an attitude because if I was his waitress, I do not think I would be as understanding.  However, the waiter may not have been able to afford to lose his job. 

The client exhibited microassault microaggression in that he intentionally degraded the waiter’s race with the intent to cause harm.   He made the waiter feel like an outsider living in “his” country without legal rights.   The client may have even thought that the waiter’s position was beneath him as well since he was the server instead of being served.   The client was intentionally rude to the waiter.   His behavior made me feel very uncomfortable.   I felt bad that the waiter had to experience such humiliating treatment, especially since this was a man of color who should have known how this type of treatment has made him felt in the past.  I guess in order for some people to feel important or superior, they have to degrade others by put others down.   My husband and I tried to make up for some of the discomfort the waiter had to endure by thanking him each time he came to the table as well as leaving him a nice tip when we left.  After talking to my husband about how uncomfortable I felt about his client’s behavior, I found out he felt the same way.  Needless to say, we will not be going out with this individual again.   At least not until he become aware of his biases and prejudices; thus change his negative behavior and attitude towards diverse culture.