Week 3: Communicating Differently

Communicating Differently   

  I find myself communicating with my friend from Panama differently, because she speaks Spanish fluently and very little English.  Her husband speaks both English and Farsi fluently and because their three children are natives of America, they all speak English, Farsi and Spanish fluently.  My friend was telling me how when her children started daycare, the teacher told her to speak English at least 30 minutes a day in the home because the children did not speak English, she was finding it difficult to teach them.  My friend refused to speak English in her home because she took pride in her culture and wanted to pass it on to her children.

I first met my friend during my undergrad studies.  We took a few classes together and ended up working on a class project together.  I remembered having to do most of the presentation in front of the class due to her broken English.  I found myself taking charge of the conversations because I perceived her inability to speak fluent English as a handicap. I also perceived her as being incapable of understanding our culture.  As I began to get to know her on a more personal level, I realized that my inaccurate perceptions were based on my stereotypical thoughts. 

Since this time, I communicate with my friend differently in that I listen intensely when she speaks, because I am what you would call Spanish illiterate.  I wanted so desperately to be able to effectively communicate with her.  Both my husband and daughter have taken Spanish courses and now they are teaching me a few words so that I am better able to communicate with her.  Three strategies I have learned to effectively communicate with my friend and her family is to observe her family’s nonverbal cues, listen carefully to what they are saying and respecting their culture values, beliefs and traditions.     

Her family has become a part of my family in that we celebrate birthdays and holidays together.  As I reflect on our relationship, I ask myself, was it I who was handicap and not my friend.  Just as I saw her as being the outsider; it was I who was the outsider in her eyes.  Had I not taken the time to get to know her as an individual, I would have missed out on what I consider a very special friendship.