Today, one of the teachers called the front desk to say a child was not feeling well and if I could come down to check on him. As I entered the classroom, I saw the child lying on a mate in the corner. I kneeled down next to him so that I could feel his forehead. I noticed that he was running a fever. As I was asking him how he was doing, a little girl walked by and asked “Jason why are you lying on your mate?” She then asked “Are you sick?” She looked at me and said “You need to call Jason’s dad because he doesn’t have a mommy.” The teacher immediately said “Why did you say that, everyone has a mommy?” The teacher took her by the hand, and led her to another area. The girl walked away with her head somewhat held down as though she had said something she shouldn’t have.
I think the teacher missed the opportunity to embrace a teachable moment. Instead of cutting the child off, she could have elaborated on the child’s comment by explaining to the child that there were other mother figures in the child’s life such as a grandmother, aunt, or Ms. Mary down the street who cared and loved Jason just as much. She could have had the little girl talk about her extended family and the roles that they play in the family. She can have a group discussion, with the help of a persona doll, about who takes care of them when their parents are away and what are some of the things they do with this person. She could also make a chart of what the children say to show a connection between their family, extended family, and community. If the teacher would have taken the time to address the little girl’s comment appropriately, she could have prevented her from feeling as though she did something wrong and Jason from getting his feelings hurt by the comment. Both children could have walked away with a high level of self worth. I think that Jason’s feelings were hurt because the teacher’s reaction confirmed that not having a mom was obviously a bad thing. His eyes looked very sad as he lay on his mate alone. The teacher never considered how Jason felt; because she went on to change the subject by telling me to ask the little girl what she learned about Martin Luther King today. I could only imagine how Jason must have felt. It was as though Jason did not exist in this environment.
This week’s lessons made me more aware of what the children were saying both verbally and non-verbally. I found myself paying more attention to what was being said and what wasn’t. I feel that both are important in order to create an effective anti-bias environment for our children and their families. In the past, I would listen to what the children were saying, but not always intervening appropriately when necessary. This area I definitely need to improve in. I will be watching and listening for teachable moments such as the one I observed with Jason so that not only I can become more empowered in my communication, but so that I can empower the children around me as well.
Hi Brenda,
ReplyDeleteI think it is great that you had gotten down to Jason's level to see how he is feeling. I think it is great that the little girl had asked what was wrong with Jason, but the teacher was wrong in not teaching the little girl about how even though Jason does not have a mother he may have other women in his life who are mother figures and care about him as much as any mother could. I think that the teacher could have turned this into a lesson for the whole class.
Brenda,
ReplyDeleteThis is where I think it gets touchy with when to stifle a child's curiosity and when to embrace it. We've spent alot of time talking about encouraging children to not ignore differences, which most see anyway. Yet when a child says something very truthful they are almost punished for saying it. I think this is where children get confused. I think the teacher was wrong to say it, but I'm guessing they are not as educated on diversity related issues as we have become. Perhaps you could ask your principal for time a staff meeting to address diversity or talk to the teacher one on one, or even ask for permission to start a school wide year long diversity celebration! I think our biggest problem is still going to be adults who may be well meaning but are not aware of the importance of this kind of topic.
That is right Brenda, many times we do not intervene when we should, and just remain silent when we see or her discrimination being done. With all the information we know now in regards to the consecuences that discrimination and bias has in children and their families, we have the responsibility to do something.
ReplyDeleteWe have to keep in mind that what we say and do is closely observed by children and we can use this as a tool, to model and empower children and families.
Brenda,
ReplyDeleteYou gave a great example of the ways that teachers interact with children in the classroom. I do agree with you in the fact that teachers should always remember that every opportunity in the classroom is a teachable moment that should be used work with children in the classroom.